Category Archives: Kids/Teaching

Things I Can Do Now

Kids/Teaching, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes I get anxious about my new career path– because change, no matter how good and how healthy, is always difficult for me (and, like, everyone on Earth. I know I’m not unique in this. I do think I am slightly more panicked/anxious/dramatic/unable-to-calm-the-fuck-down-y than the average human during a transition, but I recognize that general feelings of discomfort are pretty universal. So if anyone else is out there going through a time of change, feel free to hit me up for some commiseration. Or just try the exercise below. I found it extremely therapeutic, and I think it would make both my therapist and Oprah proud.)

Here’s a nifty list of things I can do now that I am no longer a classroom teacher, just as a reminder that I made the right choice for myself.

  1. Pee
  2. Pee in a bathroom that is a bathroom, not a closet or former jail cell
  3. Breathe without inhaling germs
  4. Breathe (in general)
  5. Go to the doctor
  6. Not go to the doctor, because I’m not sick anymore
  7. Have air conditioning when it’s hot
  8. Have heat when it’s cold
  9. Overall do my work in temperatures humans were meant to exist in
  10. Read the news
  11. Curse
  12. Curse while reading the news
  13. Not eat a packed lunch
  14. Not make a packed lunch
  15. Not make 5 packed lunches at once on Sunday night because the process of packing a lunch is so depressing, I have to do it all in one shot
  16. Cry. In the moment I feel like crying, without having to find the nearest janitors closet.
  17. Raise my voice without fear of abuse charges
  18. Make an important phone call without fear of being caught
  19. Answer an important phone call without fear of being caught
  20. Read/write an important text/email without fear of being caught
  21. Eat a snack without fear of being caught
  22. Drink a hot beverage without fear of being caught
  23. Not fear being caught for doing things all humans need to do to be human
  24. Wake up no earlier than 7:00am, as God intended
  25. Teach the way I want to teach, teach everything I planned to teach, and use my actual personality while teaching, because behavior management is no longer the priority
  26. Be honest, not politically correct, with parents.
  27. Truly know and care about every single child I work with (some classroom teachers are able to do this– I found it impossible)
  28. Be appropriately compensated for the work I do and the effort I put forth
  29. Feel effective
  30. Feel appreciated
  31. Pee (it’s worth repeating)

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Here’s What I Took Away From That Story

Kids/Teaching, Random Thoughts/Happenings, , , , , , , , ,

Kid: “Did you get a wedding dress yet?”
Me: “No, not yet. So many choices! It’s hard to decide on one.”
Kid: “You should do what my mom did. She had four different dresses. She had one for the pictures before the wedding, then she walked down the aisle in another one, like a big princess dress, and then she did the party in a different, shorter dress so she could dance and then she had an even SHORTER one for the party AFTER the wedding. She got them all at Vera Wang.”

Yeah your family needs to pay me more.

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Within Reason

Kids, Kids/Teaching, , , ,

Tutoring a 9 year old boy….

Kid: “My dad says when I grow up I have to be a doctor or a lawyer or someone who makes lots of money. But my teacher says I can be whatever I want to be! Right?”

Me (frustrated by this kind of parenting): “Of course you can be whatever you want to be! You have to figure out what makes YOU happy. Nobody can tell you what you can and can’t do with your life!”

Kid: “Ok good. Because I want to be a dog walker.”

Oh ok no. You can’t do that.

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The Computer Prompt, With Tea

Kids/Teaching, , , , , , , , ,

Me: (explaining a math problem)

Kid: “Ooooh, so I get it! It’s like the computer prompt, with tea.”

Me: “I’m sorry….what?”

Kid: “You know. Like…the computer prompt WITH TEA.”

Me: “Yeah I don’t understand what’s happening. Can you explain?”

Kid: “You don’t know about the computer prompt with tea? My teacher taught me! Like, you know…if 2 + 3= 5, then 3 + 2 = 5, because it’s the computer prompt…with tea.”

Me: “Oh my gosh– the COMMUTATIVE PROPERTY?!”

Kid: “Yeah that’s what I said. COMPUTER….PROMPT…..WITH…..TEA!”

Me: “You’re actually saying something completely different, but you have the concept so I don’t even care.”

Kid: “It sounds exactly the same to me!”

Me: “Alright well….agree to disagree?”

Kid: “Ok.”

Me: “We will get back to this though. I’m not going to let you become an adult who mispronounces this.”

Kid: “What does ‘mispropounces’ mean?”

Me: “Forget it. Back to numbers. Language is obviously not working out for us today.”