Survival Tactics

April 25, 2016Familycars, children, family, family dynamics, friends, kids, large families, misunderstandings, mom, parenthood, parenting, sibling dynamics, siblingsEmily

Me and a friend (a new friend who doesn’t know me or my family that well), discussing the idea of large families:

Friend: “I can’t BELIEVE your mom had four children. That is so many!”

Me: “I completely agree. I mean, it’s great now that we are all adults. But as young kids? Four is too many. My mom had to live in her car for like 15 years.”

Friend: “Wait, what?! She LIVED in the car? Why? Where did the rest of you live?”

Me (laughing): “No no, I’m sorry. I meant that she had to spend all of her time in the car. Driving us to all our activities and carpooling.”

Friend: “Oh my god. I thought you meant like because of having so many kids, there wasn’t enough room in the house, or enough money or something, so she had to live alone in her car.”

No. But to be honest, she probably would have preferred that arrangement.

The Smartest Thing He’s Ever Said

April 25, 2016Relationshipshealthy relationships, jewish relationships, jews, love, relationship milestones, relationshipsEmily

Although I’m not sure why he thought he had any power in the beginning.

Ebola Mom, Part 51

April 25, 2016Kids/Teaching, Teachingebola mom, etiquette, kids, parenting, teaching, tutoring, ues, ues parents, upper east side, upper east side parentsEmily

(Part of the Ebola Mom series)

Oh. Ok.

Makes Sense

April 25, 2016Familyfamily, political science, presidential election, votingEmily

“Oh, I don’t vote. My vote doesn’t matter.”

— Jeremy, former Hillary Clinton campaign worker, former campaign manager for NH Senator Betsi DeVries, and Political Science PhD candidate, when I asked him who he’s voting for.

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That’s One Hazardous Pod

April 25, 2016Relationshipsanniversary, healthy relationships, love, relationships, spellingEmily

“We are two pees in a pod.”

— Eric, in his anniversary card to me.

Spelling mistake unintentional.

But noted.

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Nothing But Carcass

April 24, 2016Family, Uncategorizedchicken, diet, family, food, health, momEmily

“I’m every bird’s worst nightmare.”

— Mom, casually explaining the manner in which she eats chicken.

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My Judaism is Rusty

April 24, 2016Family, Random Thoughts/Happeningsculture, family, holidays, jewish, jews, judaism, passover, seder, traditionEmily

This year we had two lovely, very inquisitive non-Jews at our Seder.

I did my best.

Guest: “And what does the maror symbolize?”

Me: “The bitterness of slavery.”

Guest: “And the charoset?”

Me: “The mortar the slaves used between the bricks when they were building for the Eygptian pharohs.”

Guest: “And how about the shank bone?”

Me: “That represents how the slaves passed the time all those years in the desert.”

(Silence)

Me: “They boned.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, My Second Guest Blogger!

April 22, 2016blog, blogging, Family, Kids/Teachingbabies, baby, blogger problems, blogging, familyEmily

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(Not quite as prolific as my first guest blogger, but then he is a man….)

Insider Advice

April 22, 2016Kids/Teachingkids, parenting, school, teacher problems, teachingEmily

A parent of one of my students came in for a meeting…

Parent: “Some of the kids have been calling my son a ‘whiny little bitch’ at recess, and it’s really hurting his feelings. What should he do?”

Me: “Oh my goodness! I had no idea this was happening. Well, I think he needs to start by standing up for himself and telling these kids that he will not tolerate their name-calling.”

He might also want to consider not being such a whiny little bitch.

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Connections

April 20, 2016UncategorizedEmily

Yesterday…

Kid: “My dad has a connection so he and my mom have seen Hamilton on Broadway twice. He can get tickets so easily.”

Me: “Oh really? Well tell him that his daughter’s teachers would LOVE to go see it!”

Kid: “Ok, I will.”

Today…

Me: “So did you talk to Dad about tickets?”

Kid: “Yeah. He said it would be impossible.”

Me: “Aw, ok. Thanks for trying!”

LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!