Tag Archives: wedding

No Secrets in THAT House

“Oh my god, have so much fun [at your bachelorette party] tonight! At my bachelorette party I got so drunk, there were MULTIPLE strippers, and there are just these ridiculous photos of me hanging off of stripper poles and, like, penises EVERYWHERE.”

— Parent of former student, just now on the street, while holding her 5-year-old daughter’s hand.

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We Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Have a Wedding

Eric got one of his very frequent toe cramps and had to stop mid-gait.

Me: “I hope you don’t get one of those when you’re walking down the aisle.”

Eric: “I don’t walk down the aisle. YOU walk down the aisle.”

Me: “So do you!”

Eric: “No.”

Me: “I don’t know if you’re serious.”

Eric: “Do I walk down the aisle?”

Me: (disbelieving stare)

Eric: “No, I don’t walk down the aisle. I just stand there. Up at the thing. I stand there.”

Me: “HOW DO YOU THINK YOU GET THERE?!”

Eric:  img_7033-4