Tag Archives: anxiety

You Should Go To This Event

Friends, Mental Health, Random Thoughts/Happenings, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Active Minds is an INCREDIBLE organization that is changing the conversation about mental health, preventing suicide, and SAVING LIVES (they helped save mine, as I describe in my post That Time When Nothing Was Funny).

They’re having a kick-ass Casino Night event in NYC on June 10th to raise money and awareness for the mental health cause. Fun, drinks, food, prizes, great crowd and LOCAL CELEBRITIES!*

*Local celebrities** = me

**term “local celebrity” open to interpretation***

***I feel like this is misleading. No celebrities will be there. I will be, though.

CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS AND TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ACTIVE MINDS!

I’m Going to Die Alone: A Male vs. Female Response

Dating/Single Life, Family, Mental Health, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes I get the old, “I’m going to die all alone” blues. Nothing dire or overly dramatic. Really.

They usually happen on Sunday. So, like….today.

I texted a female friend with this concern, and her response:

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Then a male friend:

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I’m not gonna lie– the male friend snapped me out of it.

You’ve Got It All Wrong

Being Awkward/Dumb Stuff I Do, Mental Health, Random Thoughts/Happenings, , , , , , , , ,

That moment when you’re getting ready for work and you look out your window and spot a woman who’s just got it all wrong. The outfit, the hair, the bag, the makeup, the expression on her face– everything is a giant hot mess. And you just want to reach out, give her a hug, and say “Come girl, let’s fix you.”

Wait, not a window. A mirror.

Sadness? Yeah I Think I’ve Heard of It.

Kids/Teaching, Mental Health, , , , , , , , ,

Tutoring a 5th grader…

Kid: “Do you ever feel sadness?”
Me: “Sure.”

I call it “Winter.”

When it happens in the fall, I call it “Mental Health Disorder.”

When it happens in the summer, I call it “Hangover.”

When it happens in the spring, I call it “For The Love of God, WTF Is Wrong With You?! It’s SPRING– WHY AREN’T YOU HAPPY?! You Are The WORST. And Stop Resenting Those Happy People Over There. It’s Not Their Fault They Know How To Enjoy Things While You Feel Dead Inside. For Christ’s Sake, Come On, The Sun Is Out!” (I’ll admit this one could use a nickname).

We’ll call yours “Puberty.”

Regardless, grab a hat, some chocolate (or, ideally– a chocolate hat) and hold the fuck on.

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Weird Shit That Helps My Depression

Mental Health, Random Thoughts/Happenings, , , , , , ,

I dare you– DARE YOU– to start your day watching/listening to this clip and not be in a better mood.

Hold on to your habit– shit’s about to get joyful!!!!!

A few disclaimers:

1) I am not claiming that a song/dance routine can cure depression. If that were the case, I would have flushed my Prozac years ago and used the therapy money to buy a yacht. Well, not a yacht. Maybe a lifetime’s worth of Chipotle? Ok fine a yacht is a better investment. I just felt my dad put his head in his hands. (It’s just…then I’d have to learn how to yacht, how to take care of a yacht…just seems like a lot of work, Dad….)

2) My sharing of this clip is not a promotion of religion. I am not religious. I am certainly not Catholic. I am Jewish, remember? You must be new here.

3) Hey, remember when Lauryn Hill didn’t hate all white people? Ok, fine, that turned out to be a nasty rumor (seriously– I was curious so I Snope-d it), but it still made me sad for a few years.

4) I obviously still bought her album, screamed the lyrics to “Doo-Wop (That Thing)” and just hoped she never found out about it. Because if the rumors about her not wanting white people to sing her music were true, I was most definitely the EXACT white person she was talking about.

5) Yeah, I know. 3 and 4 aren’t really disclaimers. It’s called A.D.D., guys.

Taxi Cab Sex is the Least of My Concerns

Random Thoughts/Happenings, , , , , ,

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A friend just told me he read a Gawker article about the prevalence of sex in NYC taxi cabs, and he warned me to “consider the history of that seat” next time I’m in a cab.

Great. Let me add that to my list of taxi cab concerns, a list that already includes:

1. Bed bugs
2. Nausea
3. Contagious B.O. (you all saw the Seinfeld episode)
4. Accidentally leaving umbrella on cab floor
5. Fatal crash. Head detaches from body. Rolls into pothole. Resides for eternity with rats.
6. Stuck in middle of Puerto Rican Day parade. No way out.
7. Driver is actually serial killer; drives out of Manhattan without me noticing, as I’m not great at noticing things. Kills me in dark, deserted Long Island field. Dumps me on LIRR tracks. Body resides for eternity with rats.

Obviously those concerns are not listed in most-concerning order.

If that were the case, the umbrella thing would go first. That shit is the WORST.

Things That Don’t Help My Anxiety Disorder

Mental Health, , , , , ,

That moment when someone highly recommends the movie Still Alice, in which Julianne Moore plays a woman with early-onset Alzheimers, so you take out your phone to set a reminder for yourself to see it, but once the phone is in your hand you forget why you took it out, and five minutes later, once you remember, you REALLY. FUCKING. PANIC.