A bunch of kids are gathered around the chalkboard at the kiddie gym, almost all of them with a snack:

Random Mom (to me): “How do you get your kid to eat so nicely and calmly? She’s like a tiny well-mannered adult!”

Me: “Oh, that’s nice of you to say! Um, I don’t know, I guess I just got lucky?”

Random Mom: “I just can’t believe she’s able to eat those blackberries without making ANY mess on her face.”

Me: “Oh. That’s actually not my kid…”

Random Mom: “Oh! Which one’s yours again? The kid with the cheerios in her hand?”

Me: “No…”

Random Mom: “Her? With the cheerios in the cup?”

Me: “No…”

Random Mom (sees no other choice): “With the cheerios stuck to her neck?”

Me: “Yes.”

(10 second silence)

Random Mom: “Are those even her cheerios?”

Me: “Nope.”

Random: “They’re in her hair too…”

Me: “I see that.”

Random: “How’d she even get them?”

Me: “Hard to say…”