(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Tag Archives: parents
Nothing More Annoying
In terms of wedding dress shopping (or life in general), there is pretty much nothing more annoying than when your mother disapproves of the choice you’ve made, and insists you explore other options because you just “never know.” Excuse me, but I am an adult, and I do know. I am perfectly capable of making this decision on my own. But fine, you came in to NYC, so I will humor you and go to ONE MORE PLACE and try on that dress that I would NEVER have thought to pick for myself, just so you can have the satisfaction of knowing I DID give your ridiculous opinions a shred of consideration.
Which leads us to the ONE thing in the world which is even MORE annoying than when your mother doesn’t trust your judgement–
When your mother is right.*
Bought the dress right on the spot.
About 398459238490 times better than the one I picked.
Thanks, Mom.
*I reserve the right to deny this post during future arguments.
Ebola Mom, Part 53
Closure
That moment when a parent who gave you hell for 4 years of your teaching career somehow tracks down your phone number and calls you to say that she is sorry for everything she put you through, and she acknowledges the role she played in her children’s in-school difficulties, and she says that she heard that you are leaving the teaching profession so she didn’t want you to depart without knowing that truly, deeply, she really does appreciate everything you did for her and her two sons over the years, thus providing you with the perfect feeling of satisfied closure as you end your classroom career.
That didn’t actually happen.
I’m just saying. It’d be nice.
Instead I just walked by said parent getting drunk and smoking cigs at a neighborhood bar.
Wonder where the kids are.
Ebola Mom, Part 52
(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 45, and part of the Ebola Mom series)
Is this bitch serious?!
But yeah I’m available.
Ebola Mom, Part 50
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
I was going to bring a handwritten thank you note next week, but now you can go fuck yourself.
Also, I gave the cookies to a homeless man.
Ebola Mom, Part 49
At Least Andrew Knows
As usual, Andrew (my brother-in-law) is the only one who knows where our parents are.
Ebola Mom, Part 48
At Least No One is Wasting Their Time Here
At the conclusion of a whole discussion about preparing their daughter for the state tests in April…
Us: “Our time is just about up, but did you have any questions or comments?”
Parent: “No, everything is good, thank you.” (pauses to collect papers) “Oh! One thing. We are moving to China in 3 weeks.”
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