Eric: “You drool and talk in your sleep so much that sometimes I’m afraid you’re going to choke and drown.”
This is Worrisome
Ebola Mom, Part 56
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Yeah that’s the same thing
Deep thoughts by Eric.
Oh hi
That moment before heading into a tutoring session when you check your reflection in a parked car window to make sure there are no remnants on your face of the Kind bar you just ate, when 5 seconds into staring at yourself you realize THERE IS A PERSON SITTING IN THE PARKED CAR. Right behind the window you basically have your face pressed against.
No Other Choice
Last night I had a nightmare that I was hanging off the edge of a cliff, and the only person who could save me was Donald Trump. He held out his hand and said, “I’ll save you– but if I do, it will guarantee that I become president.” I looked down and realized my only other option was a bloody, gory, untimely death. So obviously, I took Trump’s hand.
And pulled him down with me.
Nothing More Annoying
In terms of wedding dress shopping (or life in general), there is pretty much nothing more annoying than when your mother disapproves of the choice you’ve made, and insists you explore other options because you just “never know.” Excuse me, but I am an adult, and I do know. I am perfectly capable of making this decision on my own. But fine, you came in to NYC, so I will humor you and go to ONE MORE PLACE and try on that dress that I would NEVER have thought to pick for myself, just so you can have the satisfaction of knowing I DID give your ridiculous opinions a shred of consideration.
Which leads us to the ONE thing in the world which is even MORE annoying than when your mother doesn’t trust your judgement–
When your mother is right.*
Bought the dress right on the spot.
About 398459238490 times better than the one I picked.
Thanks, Mom.
*I reserve the right to deny this post during future arguments.
The Traditional Choice
Tutoring a 9 year old boy…
Me: “So, what are you going to be for Halloween? A devil? Maybe a vampire?”
Kid: “Bernie Sanders.”
This Just Happened
Mom and I are in an uber on our way to wedding dress shop…
Uber Driver (to mom): “How many kids do you have?”
Mom: “Two.”
Me: “Ummm. No. Four.”
Mom: “Oh my god I forgot about the boys.”
Not Weird At All
Friend: “So is it weird not having co-workers now that you are out of the classroom and tutoring full time?”
Me: “No, why?”
Friend: “Well, you know…just like…not having people to talk to all day. You don’t feel like you’re going crazy?”
Me: “No, not at all!”
Friend: “Oh ok, well that’s great! I could just see how it might be a little isolating and you might start getting weird.”
Me (laughing): “I know what you mean but honestly that’s not what’s happening at all!”
*Friend = my reflection in the mirror.
But yeah I’m doing great.
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