“What are Spanx!?”
— 2nd grade boy, when I opened up my laptop to do a reading program with him and a HUGE photo of my latest online shopping purchase popped up.
Tag Archives: kids
I Don’t Know What This Means
Tutoring an 8th grader….
Me: “So I have a little treat for you. My bridal shower was this weekend and I have all these leftover cookies– would you like one?”
Kid: “Oh my god, you’re getting married?!”
Me: “Yes! In June.”
Kid: “Aw yay! You’re getting married! I really couldn’t figure out WHAT your deal was.”
Fatherhood
That Actually DOES Make Me Feel Better
Calming my wedding day anxieties….
Something to Consider
“I think maybe a leotard, Moana’s necklace, and a Burger King crown on your head.”
— Kid, age 6, when I asked him what I should wear on my wedding day.
He’s the Best Agent
This is how Eric responds to people’s baby announcements.
Ebola Mom, Part 70
(Related to Ebola Mom Part 65 and Ebola Mom Part 66 , and part of the Ebola Mom series)
Nothing.
Client, Age 3 (Yes. Three.), during a “greater than/less than” math lesson….
Kid: “You’re 35?!?! My mom is 31, and that is LESS THAN 35!”
Me: “Right!”
Kid: “But she has THREE kids and you have ZERO kids and zero is LESS THAN three! Zero is NOTHING!”
Me: “Well…”
Kid: “You have NOTHING!”
Don’t You Ever Say That
Reading this book with a 1st grader…
Me: “So what did we learn in this book?”
Kid: “That Barack Obama was born in an African country.”
Me: “WHAT?! No, no, no. NO.”
Kid: “Yeah, it said that.”
Me: “No, it said Barack Obama was born in HAWAII– his FATHER is from Africa.”
Kid: “Oh, same thing though.”
Me: “No. NO. NOT the same thing. Not the same thing at all.”
Kid: (shrugs)
Me: “Repeat after me: ‘Barack Obama was born in Hawaii. In the UNITED STATES.'”
Kid: “Ok…”
Me: “Say it.”
Kid: “Barack Obama was born in Hawaii.”
Me: “I’m very serious about this. I can’t have you thinking that. And I definitely can’t have you going around saying ‘My tutor Emily taught me that Barack Obama was born in Africa.’ Do you understand?”
Kid: “I understand…”
Me: “He was NOT born in Africa.”
Kid: “Ok stop freaking out. I get it.”
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